


infected

by butchrem (Harlecat)



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dubious Consent, Human/Vampire Relationship, L isn't OOC but his character is altered by vampirism, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, Vampire L (Death Note), Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27492595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harlecat/pseuds/butchrem
Summary: “I killed Ide-san, who was a friend to both of us, and a good man, but I can’t find it in me to feel guilty because of how it changed me. So how weak must Kira be, who kills with clear motive, who kills for justice, and still feels shame?”“I’m not guilty,” Light protested.“No?” L leaned forward. Light felt his words against his neck. They were cold. “Are you afraid?”“No,” Light lied.Five years after L's death, the sickness appears. For forty days, those infected will do anything to drink blood, but doing so guarantees their transformation into a vampire. When L awakens, Light decides hiding him in his apartment is the best way to keep him from revealing damning evidence to the task force. He does not consider that L might be angry or, worse, that Light might have missed him.
Relationships: Amane Misa & Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light
Comments: 25
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i've been writing this when i need a break from renewal and wanted to share! 
> 
> nothing will make you feel better about the real and terrible pandemic outside your window than a sexy fictional pandemic in 2007 :}

Light’s flashlight lit Ide’s body first, his neck bent at an unnatural angle, then the gravestone, also cocked in a way it shouldn’t have been from the earth pushed up around it. It found L last, crouched on the corpse’s chest, his mouth pressed to its wrist, his eyes gleaming back at Light’s but not quite seeing him.

“Ryuzaki,” Light said, surprised. There wasn’t much else to say when you find your long-dead enemy risen as the living dead.

L dropped the wrist and lifted his hand to wipe away red from his mouth. Light kept his face still but knew L could probably hear how quick his heartbeat was. He watched L’s expression clear, his eyes sharpening. “Hello, Yagami-kun,” L said, and looked around. He squinted at the dark sky overhead then down at the body beneath him. “I appear to have killed someone.”

“Yeah,” Light said. “You did.”

L reached down and tipped the face toward him. He made a sad clicking sound with his tongue. “Ide-san.”

Light had not recognized Ide’s face in death, but he saw the resemblance now that L had put a name to it. Ide had been bitten about a week ago and his symptoms couldn’t have been far-off. Light had followed Ide to the grave to tell him he knew and to try to kill him before he turned. Light couldn’t help but think that L had chosen a very convenient time to rise and do away with his problem.

L finished looking mournfully at Ide’s corpse and went about licking the blood from his fingers. His dark eyes did not break from Light’s. “You killed me,” he told Light, as though he thought Light might have forgotten.

In any other circumstance, Light would have dodged the accusation. Instead, he smiled. “Apparently I didn’t do a very good job.”

“No,” L agreed quaintly, also smiling. “It seems you didn’t.” Then he stood up and collapsed against the gravestone. “Oh,” he said with surprise. “That’s very difficult.”

Light, who’d already heard that drinking blood too quickly can make vampires inebriated, was less surprised. He felt his heartbeat slow as he realized L had drunk his fill and wouldn’t attack him. Light paused, took a short breath in, then slipped into a cooler panic. Maybe L wouldn’t kill him, or was simply too out of sorts to do so successfully, but he could still try to convict him. Would a vampire still care about arresting Kira?

Light pointed with his flashlight toward the car he’d taken to pursue Ide. “Perhaps you’d like a ride.”

L was too busy staring at himself in horror. “What am I wearing? Did you bury me in a suit?” He looked at Light with great remorse, greater than when he’d died. “I thought you knew me, Light-kun.”

“I can fill you in on what’s been going on,” Light went on, annoyed. “Misa’s very interested in vampires so perhaps she’ll have some insight.”

“And it’s _stained,_ ” L screwed his eyes shut in disgust. “There’s blood all over it. I don’t remember death being so violent.”

“You’ve just killed Ide,” Light reminded him. God, L was insufferable. “It’s probably from that.”

“Oh, that’s right.” L pushed himself up from the tombstone, then fell against it again. “No, I can’t walk. You’ll have to carry me.”

“You’re drunk,” Light sighed. “That’s what happens when you drink too much blood.”

“How do you know? Are you— am I a vampire, now?” 

“Yes, you are, and no, I’m not.”

“But you’re Kira, yes?”

“No.”

“Yes,” L said, “I remember. I got that right.”

“Alright,” Light shook his head. “Fine. Whatever. You’re drunk, Ryuzaki.”

L looked around. “He’s here? I thought he was dead.”

“ _You’re_ Ryuzaki.”

“Right.” L pitched toward Light, and he had to lunge forward to catch him. “Oh,” L exclaimed, grabbing ahold of Light’s wrist. He stared at it, his eyes suddenly alert. L fingers, Light noted, were incredibly cold. He’d always been cold when he was alive but he’d managed to go colder in death. Light hadn’t thought that was possible.

“You’re very alive.”

“Yes,” Light started back toward his car. L came with him, less of his own volition and more because he was now attached to Light’s wrist. If only there was a chain between them, Light thought bitterly. It would be just like old times.

“And I’m dead,” L continued. “How long have I been dead? Are you much older? You look older.”

“I’m twenty-three.”

“I’m still older than you,” L practically sang. “Good for me. That means it’s been,” here he counted aloud, which Light found extremely irritating. “Five years!”

“Ryuzaki,” Light pulled his wrist back. “Perhaps I can explain the vampire situation when you _aren’t_ drunk on blood.”

“You’re going to have to kill me again,” L declared. “People kill vampires. Don’t they?”

“Here’s my car,” Light announced. L tried to open the locked door and looked positively betrayed when he failed. Light unlocked the car and pushed him into his seat before going around to the driver’s side.

“Did you miss me very much?” L asked as Light buckled himself in.

“Sure.” Light brushed the question off and started the car. “Now be quiet for a moment.” Light took out his cellphone, which did more to silence L then the instruction; phones had advanced considerably since L died. He sent a quick text to Misa. “Okay,” Light decided. “You can stay in Misa and I’s guestroom. I’m telling her to set it up now.” She’d be excited; Light normally slept in their second bedroom and she’d like spending a few weeks with him. “You just have to promise not to kill us.”

“That’s hardly fair,” L frowned. “You got to kill me. I should get to kill you too, at least once.”

“You can try,” he told L. The detective certainly could, and would probably succeed, but Light managed not to let that thought show. “You’re the one that’s drunk.”

L pouted but didn’t move toward Light to end him. “You aren’t driving.”

“I’m waiting for you to put your seatbelt on.”

L raised an eyebrow. “I’m dead.”

He wasn’t wrong. Light drove home and sat in silence as L fiddled with his radio, apparently dissatisfied with every song, but Light much preferred his flicking through stations to his incessant chatter.

The possibility that L would be one of the dead who rose had occurred to Light before. In the year since the epidemic started he’d gone to visit L’s gravesite, just to check. He’d imagined L clawing his way up to tear out his throat more than a few times but hadn’t quite expected it. Matsuda had suggested having the body exhumed and cremated but such procedures were in high demand nowadays and their task force didn’t exactly have much of a budget anymore.

L found a radio station he liked and turned the volume up extremely high. Light reached over and turned it down. L moved to turn it up again so Light sighed and decided to try and distract him.

“I’m only going to tell you once, so you have to listen,” Light told L.

He glanced over as he pulled onto the highway back to the city. L was hugging his knees to his chest and waiting patiently for Light to go on. God, he looked stupid in a suit. Light had always thought anything would be an upgrade from his faded jeans and sweatshirt, and as a proper corpse the suit hadn’t been so bad, but now that he was moving about Light thought he might have stuck with his ragged uniform for a reason. They should have just dumped him in the ground as he was.

“There’s two strains of the virus,” Light explained. “One affects the living and the other the dead. The dead strain is much rarer. There are fewer than a hundred recorded cases of it in Japan so much less is known about it. But the sickness lasts about forty days and alters your physiological makeup. It makes you crave blood. If you drink blood, then it makes you stronger, at least in the living strain and it permanently changes you. But if you don’t take in enough blood during the sickness then you recover.” Light took the exit toward his and Misa’s neighborhood.

“What about the dead strain? How can a _dead_ person catch an illness?”

“There’s a lot less public information about that.” That wasn’t the full truth. The general understanding was that if the person went forty days and drank very little blood, they died again. The problem was their body had often already gone through most of the physiological change before they rose, so once they decided they wanted blood, it was much harder to fight them off. In L’s case, he probably hadn’t fully reached consciousness until after he’d killed Ide. But, if Light could just keep him at bay for a month — and he was sure he could — then L would wither away again. “The working theory is that the illness has been going around forever, and they had it when they died and it stopped their body from deteriorating properly.”

“I _am_ in exquisite condition,” L observed. “Like a pickle.”

“In that case, some recent event must have triggered the sickness and started waking people up. If someone believes they’ve encountered a resurrected person they’re supposed to call the police, and if they determine that the claim is accurate, the resurrected person is brought to a research facility.”

“You haven’t done that,” L noted. “Are you so afraid to be outed as Kira? Isn’t being a vampire much worse?”

“I could bring you to a research facility if you like,” Light offered. If L wouldn’t consent to staying put, that might work just as well — he couldn’t imagine anyone giving much weight to a disheveled corpse who was convinced he was the detective L, who the public believed to still be active. “Or you can come stay with Misa and I. But they’re somewhat desperate for test subjects, and you _are_ dead so you don’t exactly have a lot of legal rights.”

“How considerate, Yagami-kun. Almost kind enough for me to put aside that threat.”

Light parked at his apartment complex, then swore as his phone rang. Matsuda was calling him back. He reached for his phone but L, being the living dead, was quicker and swiped it up.

“It’s Matsuda-san,” L said. “So you only killed me, then? Picky.” Light grabbed his phone and sent Matsuda to voicemail. He turned off the car and went around to open L’s door. “Oh, a gentleman.”

“Shut up and come inside before someone sees you.”

L allowed Light to pull him inside. He waved at the doorman in a way Light could only describe as cheerful and suspicious as Light tugged him into the elevator and punched in his floor. He unlocked his door and practically had to shove L inside to keep him from starting a conversation with his neighbor.

“It looks like Amane-kun decorated it,” L remarked, taking in the dark walls, lace, and crosses. 

“That’s because she did.”

Misa’s voice rang out from down the hall. “Light, is that you?”

“Yes,” Light said, and she emerged a moment later. She gasped dramatically.

“Ryuzaki!” she exclaimed. “You didn’t tell me it was Ryuzaki!”

“Try not to worry about it,” Light said, and started to push L toward the hall.

“I made snacks,” Misa said. L, who’d been allowing Light to corral him, suddenly went very still and looked over at her. “Can you eat?”

“What do you have?” L asked eagerly.

“Well,” Misa hurried into the kitchen. “I have a charcuterie board—”

“Get me out of here,” L told Light.

“You should have told me it was Ryuzaki!” Misa scolded Light, hurrying after them. “I would have made cookies!”

“He’s a vampire,” Light said, exasperated, and had to tug at L’s ridiculous suit jacket to get him to stop walking as they reached the spare bedroom. “I don’t think he can even eat.”

“I will find a way,” L vowed.

“Please be quiet,” Light said. “I’m begging you to be quiet.”

“Beg harder.”

“This is your room,” Light told L. “You can go into it and never bother me again.”

“Does the notebook work on vampires?”

“You really think the task force would experiment with—”

“No,” Misa said brightly, and Light glared at her.

L flicked the light switch to the room on. It was pretty boring, with white walls and a white bedspread. After looking around for a moment, L noticed the hooks on the back of the door, realized he could remove his suit jacket, and did so with minimal struggle.

“Oh no,” L said, noticing he had shoes on.

“I’m going to lock you in this room now because you’re a very dangerous vampire,” Light said curtly. L waved his hand dismissively and sat down to wrestle with one of his shoes. Light closed the door and locked it.

“What happened with Ide-san?” Misa asked. Light pulled her into their bedroom and locked their door too before answering her.

“Ryuzaki got him.”

“Oh,” Misa said sadly, then “So he really _is_ a vampire! I can’t believe it!”

“Did you do what I asked you to?”

Misa nodded. “I sent the package to your friend. What was in it?”

Light kissed her, more to silence her than thank her. “Just some legal papers.” That was a lie. Misa had sent her death note to Teru Mikami and given up her memories of being Kira. Light couldn’t help but think that the timing was gorgeous. If he’d waited a day she might have said something that gave him away to L, now he could keep playing innocent. “Why don’t we get to bed?”

Misa clapped excitedly. “You’re staying here tonight, yay! I can’t wait!”

Light nodded and didn’t bother with changing into any nightclothes. He stripped down to his boxers. “I’m pretty tired, Misa, so I’m going to just head to sleep.”

“Okay.” She sounded disappointed. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll join you!”

Light expected to have a hard time falling asleep, but went out like a rock.


	2. Chapter 2

Light woke up to the sound of the blender. He dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen where Misa was already dressed for the day (though, given the outfit she’d chosen, that phrase might have been an exaggeration) and wearing an apron.

“Good morning!” she chirped and turned off the blender. There was a lot that made life with Misa unbearable to Light, but her morning energy was high on the list. She swept around the counter to press a lipstick-laden kiss to Light’s cheek. “Did you sleep well, love of my life?”

“Coffee,” Light said.

“It’s on the stove. I’ll pour you some! Sit.” Light dropped into one of their barstools as she bounced back over to the stove to pour some coffee. Misa had recently become taken with designer coffee, probably as a result of their trip to America, and was currently experimenting with latte art. Light had never been one for cutesy beverages, but he couldn’t really complain so long as someone was making him coffee.

After a few moments of fiddling, Misa pushed over a foamy coffee with a delicate spiral. Light smiled gratefully and took a sip. “Thanks, Misa. What are you making?”

“Blood,” Misa said cheerfully, and Light narrowly avoided choking on the coffee.

“Is that so?” He asked weakly, eyeing the ingredients she had out. There seemed to be a lot of fish and fruit, and very little in the way of blood.

“If Ryuzaki is going to stay with us while he’s sick, he’s going to need food, but he shouldn’t drink our blood. That would be gross,” Misa stuck out her tongue. “And no one knows how the virus is spread, so we’d probably get infected. But if he doesn’t eat, he’ll go feral. At least that’s what I read on the internet forums. Luckily, I’ve always been into the occult! I already know exactly what a vampire would need to survive. This should keep him full without making it so he stays a vampire.”

“Lucky,” Light agreed. That was probably true, his plan had more or less just been ‘get L into room, lock door, let die. Pretend this never happened.’ “So what are you making?”

“I got up early to go to the store, and I got the obvious stuff. But right now I’m making a smoothie. A  _ blood _ smoothie,” she added. “Not a normal smoothie.”

“Right, but what’s in it?”

“I already made one with organs and blood from poultry, so now I’m trying a sweet one. I think it’ll be good since Ryuzaki likes sweet things, right? I have cherry, tomato, strawberry, karo syrup, soybeans, grenadine syrup, just because it’s red, and dark chocolate.”

The thought of those ingredients together made Light gag, but he nodded agreeably. “That’s clever.”

“Will you be home for dinner?” Misa unplugged the blender and went to pour the mixture into a jar. She had to shake chunks of dark chocolate from the bottom. “I didn’t want to say anything last night but if Ryuzaki is here, does that mean you aren’t moving out?”

Light and Misa had recently been discussing the possibility of Light moving back into his family home. Light nodded. “That’s probably for the best, for now.”

Misa looked relieved, but didn’t say anything. She put the jar in the fridge and took off her apron. “I guess I’ll see you after work?”

“Shit,” Light set his coffee down. “You will, I just— ungh. They’ll think it’s weird that I didn’t stay over at work last night, especially since they’re suspicious of me again. Someone will probably come by today.”

“Well, that’s fine! I’d love to see your friends, and once I give them some good food they’ll remember how nice we are. Nice people don’t kill people!”

“That’s great, honey,” Light said, as agreeably as he could. “But we’re illegally hiding a vampire, who’s also their dead boss.” And who had reasonable proof that he was Kira, if the task force would take ‘gloating at dying friend’ as evidence, and at this point they probably would.

“Oh, right. And if I don’t let them into his room—”

“They’ll think it’s suspicious, yeah. I would too.”

“Well, just try not to worry about it. I know!” Misa reached below the counter and produced a box of donuts, which must have been a part of her grocery haul. “I got these for Ryuzaki, but you can just bring them to work! I’m sure that once you remind them how considerate you are they’ll forget this whole silly thing.” Misa rolled her eyes dramatically. “ _ I _ still can’t believe that you’re worrying about someone who only kills criminals when there’s this vampire plague. The U.S. had the right idea when they decided to stop pursuing Kira!”

“Well, until Japan joins them, I should make it to work on time.” Light stood up. “I’ll try not to be home too late.”

“Before dark,” Misa said. “That’s when vampires wake up.”

Light doubted that particular part of the legend was especially accurate, but said nothing about it. He gave Misa a kiss goodbye and departed for work.

As it turned out there was plenty going on to distract Light from the situation at home. First there was the matter of Ide’s death. That was an easy lie, Light told Aizawa that he hadn’t managed to follow Ide wherever he’d gone, and he would report an infected person as missing. Aizawa and Mogi left to search Light’s apartment while Light watched the news with Matsuda. Mikami had been a good choice to act as his proxy, and he proved that when he killed Demegawa. When he got home, Misa informed him that Mogi and Aizawa hadn’t found Ryuzaki. Apparently, there was some truth to the myth about vampire’s sleeping. For what was probably the first time in his life, if it could be called that, L had actually slept, and deeply enough that Misa was able to maneuver him into the linen closet and hide him behind the towels then bring him back into the spare bedroom when they’d gone. He’d only woken up when Misa accidentally hit his head on the bedpost.

The rest of the week passed by like that, with Light overwhelmed with stress while constantly a little relieved that he was actually able to pull things off. It didn’t help that now that the shock of Ryuzaki’s first night staying with them had worn off, Light was having difficulty sleeping. He’d always been something of a light sleeper, especially after taking on the burden of acting as Kira, and sharing a bed with Misa only made things harder. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did with her — she talked in her sleep, she snored, so hogged the blankets, she moved into strange positions that pushed Light to the very edge of the bed or dug her arms into him. It was no wonder he hated sleeping with her so much, he thought bitterly one night, barely staying on the mattress.

At the end of the week, the day that Kiyomi Takada was appointed as Kira’s spokesperson — which really was a relief to Light, as he’d begun to realize that Teru Mikami’s standards were insane and unforgiving, and he could probably use Kiyomi to get a message through — he had the fight with Misa. It was probably inevitable that she’d start picking fights with him after she gave up her memories of being Kira, especially since their relationship was in a very different point now than the last time she’d lost her memories. Light just hadn’t expected it to come so soon.

The fight was a mix of old and new arguments, as Light had called his mother that day and informed Misa that he’d discussed the possibility of moving back in with her next month. This upset Misa because apparently he should have discussed that with her first, as though he hadn’t brought up his interest in moving home several times, and hadn’t been planning to before L had risen. Light had first brought up the idea after Sayu was kidnapped. The idea had been that playing the good son would put any ideas N or the Task Force might be developing to rest, but there were more personal reasons to moving out: living with Misa wasn’t exactly working out for Light, since he wasn’t all that interested in her. Somewhat selfishly, Light thought it might be nice to live with Sayu again, especially after the ordeal she’d been through. He’d been so worried he would have to kill her, or worse, that someone else would do so, and a small part of him desperately wanted to keep his little sister close. Then there was Kiyomi Takada. Light knew it would be pointless to keep her a secret from Misa, so he told her that he would have to reunite with his ex-girlfriend for the sake of his investigation, and Misa was not impressed. It didn’t help that Light had never found her temper tantrums particularly convincing, and refused to apologize when he’d done nothing wrong and had nothing to gain; this just made Misa more upset with him. Sobbing, she locked herself in the bedroom which Light thought was very immature, and when it became apparent that he wasn’t going to rush in after her to apologize he heard her turn on her favorite moody album and go run a bath. The door remained locked.

Light never imagined that he would be kicked out, especially not by Misa of all people. He was always the one insisting he sleep by himself, and here he was, locked out of her bedroom. Before today, he would have found the prospect of breaking up with Misa once she was without memories rather appealing, but it would look incredibly strange if he bounced from one woman who’d been suspected of being Kira to a known Kira associate. If he wanted the task force to believe he was only seeking out Kiyomi to further their investigation, he really needed to convince them that he was still committed to Misa. Once he was sure she’d finished her bath, he knocked on her door.

He told her that he was sorry they’d fought, that he didn’t want to hurt her, and he thought they should take the night to cool off and talk things over again when they felt a little calmer. Misa nodded, looking relieved, and let Light gather up some night clothes before she went to bed.

It was at this point that Light remembered the bedroom he normally slept in currently housed a vampire. So, Light Yagami, the perfect, doting boyfriend, resigned himself to the  _ couch _ . Light changed into the pajamas, fetched a spare blanket, and resolved to get a good night’s sleep as long as he was free of Misa for the evening. 

A few hours after sundown he heard a noise in the kitchen. When Light looked up he saw L over the counter and jumped. He hadn’t heard him leave his room, which he shouldn’t have been able to do to begin with.

“You’re out,” Light remarked, trying to sound more surprised than scared. Having recently seen L slaughter Ide, this was easier said than done.

“Yes,” L nodded, as though Light had made an astute observation. “I can pick locks, you know? I’d forgotten.”

“You’d forgotten,” Light said flatly.

“Yes,” L said. “I think.” He unscrewed the lid to one of Misa’s blood concoctions and poured himself a glass, took a sip, then opened his mouth and did not spit quite so much as let the drink fall into the sink.

He was, Light noted, wearing one of his shirts, a plain white undershirt that left his arms exposed. He looked thinner than he had when he was alive. He wondered if it was an effect of death, or of the sickness. To Light’s chagrain, the shirt looked good on him. No clothes should ever have flattered L, and yet, Light’s stupid tank top did.

“I don’t know if it’s the death or the sickness,” L said, and it took Light a moment to realize that he was talking about his memory and not how good his arms looked. He turned to rummage in the fridge. He was wearing Light’s jeans, too. They were too small on him. L came back up with a cupcake, looking immensely satisfied, and took a bite. Then, once again, he opened his mouth and let it fall out. This time, Light heard it land on the tile floor with a sad splat. L looked down at it mournfully. “I wish I’d stayed dead. Drinking fish oil is no life at all.”

Light sighed. Conversions with L were just as vague and unhelpful as ever. “If you’d like, I can kill you again.”

L widened his eyes a little, then grinned. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you say it aloud.”

“I didn’t say anything aloud,” Light rolled his eyes. “Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you that in the last five years, I’ve had more important things to do with myself than worry about whether every word I’ve said would implicate me. I only meant that if you wanted, I could put you back in the ground.”

“There’s really no need to protest, Yagami-kun.” L had gotten the sugar out now, and was shoveling teaspoon after teaspoon into his cup of fake blood. “I was there, you know. I actually happened to notice your murdering me.”

“I thought you’d forgotten things,” Light snapped.

L blinked slowly. “I remember Yagami-kun.” He licked the sugar from his spoon before dropping it into the sink with a clatter. “Would you do me a favor and order me a laptop? I’ve already read all the books in the house.”

“With whose money?”

“You can use my money,” L had upturned his glass, and drank every drop from the cup. “Unless you’ve already used it all up.”

“None of us know how to access your accounts.” Light gestured meaningfully at the apartment. “Misa pays for this, not me.”

“I have a credit card,” L said matter-of-factly, then frowned. “No, that won’t be helpful. I’ll call my bank tomorrow. Can I use your phone?”

“Sure, whatever. I’ll be out of town for a good chunk of tomorrow, so just have Misa answer if it’s important, and she can tell them to call my mother.”

“What are you out of town for?” L raised an eyebrow meaningfully. “Surely travel is more restricted during a vampire outbreak. Does Kira need to tour his kingdom?”

“I’m going to Kamakura with my mother and sister,” Light informed him. “We’re visiting my father’s parents.”

“Without your father.”

“You might say he’s coming too. We’re bringing them some of his ashes.”

“Your father has passed.” L cocked his head. “That’s terrible. I’m very sorry.”

“You could be more convincing.” Light needed a distraction from L, and picked up the remote from the table. 

“You haven’t mentioned him at all, this last week. You didn’t even mention him in your fight with Amane-san.”

“Are you spying on me again?”

L shrugged and poured himself a second cup of the blood substitute. This time he submerged what remained of the cupcake in it and watched it bob about with fascination. “My hearing seems to be greatly improved. If I had been a vampire during the investigation perhaps we would not have needed to bother with handcuffs. Then again.” He paused, and looked up at Light. His expression was unreadable. “Yagami-kun is not a very good liar anymore.”

“I beg your pardon?”

L prodded the cupcake, pushing it below the liquid. “Do you love your girlfriend?”

“Of course I do.”

“Liar,” L chided. “Not only is your tone entirely unconvincing, one of the worst performances I’ve seen from you, but your heartbeat just spiked. It’s been spiking quite a bit, these last few days. Probably because you aren’t sleeping very much, which raises Yagami-kun’s stress levels. You look worse than me.” L smiled darkly at Light as he lifted the cup to his lips. “And I’m dead.”

“It’s incredible,” Light said. “You look like a regular person, but then you open your mouth and you become a demon who exists to torment me.”

“I’m glad I ran into you,” L prattled on. Light was tempted to remind him that he lived here, and if L had wanted to speak to him doing so would have been fairly easy. “I wanted to ask who’s onto you.”

“Who’s onto me.”

“Well.” L took the oily cupcake from the empty cup and this time, he managed to swallow it. “It’s pretty simple.”

“Please stop,” Light said. “That’s disgusting. Don’t eat that fish oil cupcake in front of me.”

“Yagami-kun has seen me eat far worse.”

Light didn’t know if L was referring to Ide’s blood or the entire tray of jello he’d eaten once despite Light’s many protests, and told him so, which made L laugh. He did not stop eating the cupcake.

“You made it fairly obvious that you were trying to blackmail me. No, blackmail’s a strong word. Somewhere between blackmail and bribery, I think.” L finished the cupcake and licked the oil from his fingers. “But I don’t exactly have compelling evidence against you, do I?  _ Aizawa-san, Yagami-kun gave me a funny look. Arrest him, please _ . No, I imagine I wouldn’t even get speak to Aizawa-san once I was handed over to the authorities. I don’t think anyone around me would care much about what I had to say at all. But once I realized that, it became obvious that there was someone else suspicious of you, and you were worried they would find out about me. Is it someone I know?”

Light realized, with great distaste, that five years without L around might have made him grow dull. L finished licking his fingers and ran them under the sink once.

“How remarkably unsatisfying,” he announced, and came to sit by Light on the couch. “Were you going to watch something?”

Light clicked the television on, but didn’t take in much of the evening news. L watched the television with rapt attention.

“It’s Near,” Light said, without really thinking about the repercussions. Light kept his eyes trained on the news with stubborn focus, even though he wasn’t really following the infographics or the anchor. It wasn’t like L could do anything. Near wasn’t exactly easy to reach and once L’s forty days were up he would either become a monster or die. 

“What is?  _ Oh. _ Well, bother.” L hugged his legs to his chest. “I do hope Yagami-kun isn’t planning to kill him. I don’t think I can stand for you killing my friends.”

Light shot a look at L. He was still watching the television. So he couldn’t lie to L without giving himself away — he’d have to twist the conversation in a different direction.

“Your friends,” Light repeated coolly. “I thought I was your  _ first _ friend.”

“Yagami-kun flatters himself,” L said. “He thinks no one else has ever thought to lie.”

Light could not name the sudden prickling on the back of his neck, or the strange ice in his heart, but he knew he didn’t like it. He repositioned himself, leaning back onto the couch in the vain hope that a more relaxed position would make him feel less on edge. He told himself that he was just uncomfortable with the monster next to him. He’d already declared his dissatisfaction with the false blood, and they both knew that the meal that would satisfy him was sitting beside him on the couch. That, Light was sure, was why he felt so poorly. Not anything L had said.

“You were very dear to me,” Light blurted out. He wasn’t sure why he said it; the words were out before the thought could finish forming. “I didn’t lie to you.”

He didn’t hear L move toward him, he just felt two icy fingers on his neck.

“Then why,” L mused, “Is your heart beating so quickly?”

Light, for the first time he could remember, imagined dying. It might be fast, depending on where L bit him, but it certainly wouldn’t be painless. He would try desperately to cling to his life, heaving breath after breath when they’d long stopped helping him, and his body would keep pushing blood through his veins until there wasn’t any left. It would certainly throw a wrench in Near and Aizawa’s theories. It took great difficulty to turn his head to look at L. He felt like doing so would seal his fate, and once he saw the vampire he would see his doom. Instead, he and L just stared into each other’s eyes. Light must have looked into L’s eyes a thousand times before, back when they were handcuffed, but those times had been different. This time, Light could not see his reflection.

“If you’d prefer not to sleep on the couch,” L went on. “You could always stay in my room. Your room, that is. We’ve shared a bed before, and I wouldn’t even be in it this time.”

“I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”

“Because you’re afraid of me?”

Light stood up sharply. It was stupid, he knew, but he also found himself desperate to prove a point.

“Just because you’re a human polygraph,” Light snapped and stalked toward the guestroom. “It doesn’t mean anything. You’d still have at least a thirteen percent error rate.”

“Not a  _ human _ polygraph, no.”

“I’m locking the door.”

L held open his arms in a  _ be my guest _ gesture, then hung his head over the back of the couch to look at Light.

“Your room is very depressing,” he informed Light. “I worry for Yagami-kun’s mental state.”

“Goodnight, Ryuzaki,” Light said. “I did so miss these late-night talks.”

He expected another reprimand for lying. Instead, L grinned.

“I’d say I felt the same,” he told Light. “But I’m afraid I didn’t have the time to miss much of anything.”

Light thought about slamming the door, but closed it quietly. He locked it and looked around the room. It wasn’t depressing — he had no idea what L was talking about. Sure, the walls were bare, and there wasn’t much in the way of furniture, but it was only because Light was practical and tidy. What was he supposed to do, hang a flag with To-Oh’s colors up, or buy a Misa-Misa poster? Light curled his fingers, digging his nails into his palms, and thought longingly of the time when he could have hit L. He still probably could, but it wouldn’t do much and it would hurt far worse when L hit back.

When Light laid down in the bed, he was irritated to realize that it smelled like L. Like buttercream and dandruff and now, he noticed, something like dirt. 

He was supposed to sleep better in a bed without Misa but Light found himself tossing and turning, his thoughts all circling around L. His heartbeat did not slow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every day i put on my silly little glasses and my silly little quilted hat and write silly little death note fanned fictions
> 
> thank u everyone for the nice comments :')

Misa had originally planned to join Light on his trip to Kamakura, but cancelled at the last minute. This was probably for the best, as he returned to Task Force headquarters when he returned to discover that Matsuda and Mogi had already arranged for Light to meet with Kiyomi. It was too soon to tell her that he was Kira, or to attempt to reach Mikami through her, but he was able to lay the groundwork for a successful con. It was clear that Kiyomi was still somewhat enamored with him, something Matsuda was eager to point out, and the meeting went on for a little longer than Light planned. When he got home, it was already dark out and there was a cold plate of food on the table.

L, who was quickly reestablishing himself as the bane of Light’s existence, was on the couch with one of Misa’s magazines.

“You’ve been locked out of your room again,” he called out to Light, not looking up. He licked his finger and delicately turned one of the pages. “Probably because you’re cheating on her.”

“I’m hardly cheating on her.” Light went to pour himself a drink. “Misa understands that I need to spend time with Kiyomi Takada for the sake of my investigation. The fact that she’s a woman, or that she’s my ex-girlfriend, is entirely coincidental. I imagine she’s gone to bed without me because she has a busy day tomorrow. Can I have my phone back?”

“It’s on the coffee table.” L pointed without getting up. “Actually. the cheating is somewhat more incidental. I think she wanted to discuss the job offer she got with you, since she apparently took a break from the entertainment industry a few years ago. I heard her on the phone with someone about it. I can’t believe you tried to deprive the world of Misa Amane’s heavenly voice.”

Light downed his drink. “I seem to recall you begging me to shut her up on numerous occasions.”

“I’d have listened to Amane-san pester me about anything if she did it in song. I’ll bet your other girlfriend can’t sing.”

“I don’t have another girlfriend, whatever Misa might think. And no, I don’t think Kiyomi can sing. If you like I’ll ask her next time we talk.” Light raised an eyebrow at L as he sat down to eat his cold dinner. “I’ll tell her that if she can’t, it’s very likely that she’s Kira, and we’ll have to arrest her. If the others complain, I’ll just say I’m honoring your memory with my practices.”

“How sweet. By the way, I ordered myself some things to make my stay here a little less miserable.”

“Not under the name of Kira, I hope.”

“No.” L turned a page with impressive volume. “I suspected that Yagami-kun might have lost his sense of humor.”

“I’ve never found your suspicion of me to be particularly funny.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed. I’ve always thought you were a riot. Anyway, I’d like to buy you some art for your bedroom walls. Since they’re so depressing.”

“I don’t recall you having an issue with my walls when we were handcuffed.” Light didn’t feel hungry enough to finish his dinner, and went to throw away the food.

“I assumed you were trying to convince yourself our closeness would be short-lived, albeit rather pitifully. Would you pour me some of the fruit drink?”

“No.”

L sighed and stood up slowly, as though he wasn’t quite in control of his body. Light regretted pushing L to join him in the kitchen. The silent way he moved put Light completely on edge. He couldn’t even hear him breathing. L swung open the refrigerator door and Light thought that he looked like a bat as he peered into it, his stooped frame hanging over at the waist.

“You haven’t asked me about being dead,” L said absentmindedly. “I’d have thought you’d be itching to know.”

“I already know what happens when people die.” Light brought his dishes to the sink to wash, just for something to do. “After humans die, the place they go is nothingness.”

“Yes, that’s what one book says. And yet,” L swung back his normal slouch with a bottle, and went to fill it with sugar. “It seems people can bounce in and out of nothing. Very exciting, don’t you think?”

“I’ll admit, Ryuzaki, I don’t find the idea of bouncing in and out of nothing all that thrilling.”

“Are you afraid of dying?” L hopped up onto the counter, pulling his legs to his chest, and took a swig from the bottle.

“Don’t do that, it’s disgusting.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t want to sully this fake blood, in case you decide to drink some.”

Light paused in washing the dishes to glare at L. “I’m a little more concerned about you putting your feet on my counter.”

“I’ve never been all that concerned with death, personally,” L carried on as though Light hadn’t said anything. “Apparently with good reason, since it seems to have been a temporary problem.”

“I hadn’t though much about death, before this case.” Light set the dishes to dry and turned off the sink. “I didn’t know anyone who’d died.”

“And you didn’t put any thought into the matter when you started killing people?”

“I put some thought into the matter when you died,” Light retorted, hoping that would get L off of his back. “I was very afraid then.”

“How fortunate that whoever decided to do away with our little task force stopped at Watari and L.” L tipped the bottle back. Light was a little unnerved by how quickly he was drinking it. “That’s certainly much less suspicious than killing the whole group off. You’re very afraid to die now, aren’t you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re rather uncomfortable around me.”

“Well,  _ you’re _ dead, and I don’t really know how to act around you, since it seems like all you do is follow me around and try to make me feel bad for killing you, which I didn’t even do.”

“Then who did?”

“Rem.”

“Who?”

“The Shinigami.”

“Oh.” L blinked, furrowing his brow. “I’d forgotten she had a name. Tell me, Yagami-kun, why would she do a thing like that?”

“Unfortunately, I don’t work for you anymore, so it’s not my job to justify every little thing to you.”

“It’s funny,” L remarked. “You seem so intent on convincing me that you’re my friend, but can’t make it through a conversation without telling me how much you hate me.”

“I never said I hated you.”

“Do you?”

“Of course,” Light shrugged. “I mean, look at you. You’re a terrible houseguest.” L nodded agreeably and polished off the bottle with one final swig. “Are you satisfied?” Light asked, partially in regard to his answer, partially in regard to the drink.

L smiled demurely. “Not in the least bit.”

“Do  _ you _ hate me?”

“In general, or because you killed me?” L paused, but Light was already regretting asking and decided not to specify. “What an excellent question.”

L held out the empty bottle to Light, clearly hoping he would wash it. Light, who was still standing at the sink, couldn’t think of a good reason not to. He filled it with water, then dish soap. L let his legs fall from the counter and kicked them methodically, watching his feet swing back and forth.

For one long moment, the only sound was running water, until L spoke. “You really could have won me over, if you tried.” It was such a strange thing to say that Light looked up at him, but L was still staring at his feet, one extended in front of him and the other bent against the cabinet. He switched their positions slowly.

“What’s the supposed to mean?” Light asked and L looked up suddenly, his eyes boring into Light’s chest. Light couldn’t fathom his expression but it made the back of his neck itch and his stomach flip over. The bottle was long cleaned but the hot water kept running over Light’s hands, and he didn’t go to switch it off, staring at L staring at him. Not him, Light realized, his heartbeat. Light brought the bottle out of the sink very slowly, worried that a sudden move might do something to whatever was lurking inside of L. He switched the sink off. If his heart hadn’t been hammering before, it was now.  _ Slow down, _ Light silently willed.  _ Good god, slow down _ .

“He asks me what I mean,” L murmured. “Does he hear himself?”

“Don’t do that,” Light snarled. “I’m right here.”

L’s eyes snapped up to meet Light’s, dark and endless, and Light’s breath caught in his throat.

“Are you going to take my bed again?”

Light blinked away his discomfort, caught off guard by the mundane question. “I might like to. If that’s a problem, I can stay the night at work tomorrow night.”

“It’s no trouble, only I might like to use your desk. But don’t worry.” L waggled his fingers. “I won’t eat you, pitiful mortal.”

“You’re so weird, Ryuzaki.”

“Yes,” L said thoughtfully.

Light showered before bed. He wasn’t sure when L came in, because he did not make a sound or turn on the lights, when when Light got up to use the restroom, he saw him reading in the dark at the desk.

Light did not sleep particularly well.

When he woke up, he laid still for a few moments before realizing that L was asleep. He was in an irregular position, his legs hanging over the chair back and his torso laid out over the seat, like he hadn’t been able to get comfortable. His chest was still. Light sat up slowly, and stared at him. He’d only seen L asleep a few times when they were handcuffed together, as he never slept for more than three or four hours and always after Light had long since dozed off, but once or twice he’d briefly awoke in the night and seen him curled up in bed, his chest rising in falling in steady rhythm, his breath warming the pillows. Seeing him unconscious now was uncanny. The man in the chair felt less like L and more like a stranger.

Light stood and L did not even shift as he passed by him and into the kitchen. Misa was wringing her hands and hovering by the table to discuss her new career opportunity with him, so Light put on an agreeable smile and disposition, kissed her cheek, and told her it was a great idea. And, if Kiyomi Takada would be hosting the show, she could meet her and see there really wasn’t any threat to their relationship. On that day, Light’s patience won out, and he finally was able to speak through Takada to Mikami, and tell her who he really was. On his way home, he flexed his fingers against the steering wheel and smiled to himself.

_ Slow and steady, _ he thought.

Several of L’s packages had arrived. Not his laptop yet, but a collection of books that he tore into with eagerly, which had the incredible effect of shutting him up for the whole evening. He did not even say goodnight to Light when he went to sleep, or bother to move from the couch. He’d dropped into sleep there, and Light saw him in the disconcerting unconscious state while he ate his breakfast. This time, he had one of his arms shoved behind his head and still held his book against his chest in the other, as though he’d simply frozen up. It did not look comfortable.

The task force received a call from a blocked number around noon, which Light knew was Near trying to contact them. Mogi answered.

“Hello.” Near spoke in the same clipped but cheerful tone he always did. “I’d like to speak to Light Yagami. Is he present?”

“I am.” Light did not look up from his work. He had to appear collected to his coworkers. He tried to sound as helpful as possible, without looking overeager. “What is it?”

“I wanted to ask about your bank account,” Near said conversationally, and Light’s blood ran cold. “During our investigation, we noticed thousands of dollars being funneled in from offshore accounts. Almost half a million. Were you aware of this?”

“No.” Light didn’t need to pretend to be shocked. Fucking  _ L. _ Of course he’d do something like this. Light wasn’t sure which was worse — the idea that he’d done this to signal Near, or that he was just so effortless as screwing Light over that he’d done this on accident. “Could you tell me more about them? I wasn’t aware that anything like that had happened.”

Matsuda’s mouth had formed a little  _ o, _ and Mogi and Aizawa were both staring at Light in confusion.

“You weren’t? How curious.” Near paused. “Perhaps you should speak to your bank, unless there’s someone else handling your finances.”

“My girlfriend helps me with some things,” Light said. “I’ll speak to her about it. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Near. I can let you know what I learn.”

“I’m sure I’ll hear all about it,” Near promised, and the line went dead.

“You look  _ gray _ ,” Matsuda exclaimed. “What’s that about, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Light snapped. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I’ll just have to talk to Misa.”

Aizawa raised an eyebrow. “You really don’t know what that’s about?”

_ “No, _ Aizawa-san, I don’t.” Light took a deep breath. He had to stay composed — taking his frustration out on the task force would only push them toward Near. “I’m sorry for lashing out, but the idea that someone might be accessing my account is a little upsetting.” He forced a laugh. “I mean, don’t we all have enough on our plates already? With Kira and vampires, I’d hate to be worrying about laundering or theft too. It would just be the icing on the cake.” Light’s voice nearly broke as he said the word cake. It reminded him of L, probably still unconscious as home, and he longingly imagined squeezing the life out of him. It was an indulgent fantasy, as L probably had no breath to stifle, but it made Light feel a little better.

“Yeah,” Mogi conceded. “Seems stressful.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t worry about Takada today,” Aizawa suggested. Though his tone was lazy, his eyes were sharp. “You should go deal with this.”

“That’s a really good idea,” Light started to gather his things. So Aizawa wanted to test him? That was fine. “Hopefully this will all be fixed by tomorrow.”

Aizawa nodded, and Light hurried out. He decided there that, before he went home, he’d make sure to get proper vampire equipment. Stakes, crosses, anything that might work to fend off L should his hunger strike. If he was going to ruin Light’s life, Light may as well have the tools to fight back.


	4. Chapter 4

When L roused that night, Light was pacing in the kitchen. L slipped by him like a shadow, but Light started talking when he heard the fridge door open.

“You do realize,” Light began. “That pouring your assets into my bank account is particularly unhelpful. You can see why this would be an utter nuisance?”

“It was convenient for me,” L said. He’d taken out a brown paper bag, not a bottle. He tossed something small and red into his mouth, frowned, and went to dump sugar into the bag. “It would have taken ages for me to set myself up with new information and accounts and cards. I’d have already gone back to being dead by then, so there really wouldn’t have been a point. It was easier to just write you into my will, so to speak.”

“This is a real hassle,” Light said. “Near asked me about it in front of the entire task force, and I had to completely throw Misa under the bus. What am I supposed to say? Oh, it was my vampire friend? Do you  _ want  _ me to hand you over to the authorities? I will if you do, Ryuzaki, really. I just don’t know what you’re playing at.”

L pouted at Light. “I thought that would get more of a rise out of you.”

“Oh, I’m rising. I’m fully risen. I rose.”

“Not the money. You were deliberately keeping the current understanding of the sickness from me, weren’t you?”

Light stopped pacing to scowl at L, then his glare softened as he understood what L was saying. “How did you find out?”

L chewed one of the small red things, loudly. It smelled fleshy and rank, the sugar doing nothing to cover the odor. “Well, Misa told me on the first day. But I’ve also bothered to do research since I came here, you know? I’m not clueless.”

“Good for you,” Light said. “Do you want a medal?”

“I don’t care.” L swallowed thickly, and reached for another item to snack on. They were, Light realized with disgust, probably some of the poultry organs Misa had mentioned. “I mean, I can’t just go around eating fish oil forever. It’s really not my style. But the least Yagami-kun can do is be honest about it.”

“So you know.” Light resumed his pacing. “So what? I’ve never idolized you for  _ your _ honesty _ , _ Ryuzaki.”

“You don’t have to call me that anymore.” L’s voice was surprisingly sharp.

“Oh!” Light threw his hands in the air in mock sorrow. “My mistake! What would you have me call you?”

L bristled at Light’s tone. “You know my name, don’t you? But I really don’t care. Killing Ide-san was enough for me. I’d rather not become any more of a monster.”

“Oh, spare me the brooding, L.”

“Perhaps Yagami-kun is happy.” L’s voice was cold. “He always thought me a monster, but now we are the same kind. Killers both.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”

“What will you do? Hit me? Kill me?” L set his bag down sharply on the counter. “Somehow, I don’t think either of those would work. And you can’t call anyone to come get me, because I’d just leave before they got here. So I’d like it if you stopped pretending to reign over me. Frankly, it’s embarrassing for you.”

“ _ Reign _ over you? You’re the one clambering all over my furniture and filling up my fridge with your foul smelling—”

“Fowl?”

“ _ And _ you’re annoying. I can’t believe I have to put up with this all over again. You must really hate me, to come back  _ just _ to run me up the wall. It’s like I’m being haunted.”

“I don’t hate Yagami-kun,” L said coolly. “Though despite his protests, I doubt he ever liked me.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Light said and, somewhat ridiculously, he grabbed the bag from the counter and threw it toward L. L, with his new reflexes, caught it and shoved it back in the fridge. Feeling utterly enraged, Light turned and stalked toward the bedroom. He locked the door, but when he turned, L had followed him in. “Fuck you,” Light said again, with even more venom, and looked around for something to throw. He grabbed his hairbrush off of the dresser.

“I wouldn’t do that,” L advised. The sudden absence of his frustration only made Light angrier. “You might break something.”

“I mourned you,” Light fumed. “And now you have the audacity to come back? To do what? Make a mess of my life all over again?”

“Mourned me,” L repeated. “How charming. Did it make you feel better about killing me?”

“I didn’t!” Light’s voice was raised now, and he threw the hairbrush. If L dodged at all, it was fast enough that it didn’t register, and it collided with Light’s mirror and fell to the floor. Light wasn’t worked up enough to scream but he did snarl. “I had to put my whole life on hold for you! And now I have to do it all over again.”

“I never asked Yagami-kun to do such a thing,” L mused. “Maybe you’re more upset by yourself than me.”

“Maybe it is better that you die again.”

“Yes,” L agreed.

Light glowered at him, but L did not move, just looked inquisitively at Light to see what he would do next.

“Come on,” Light folded his arms. “This is some trick, isn’t it? You’re trying to lull me into a false sense of security, then you’ll drink my blood. I’ve read about vampires and the sickness. I know what it does to you.”

“Yes,” L agreed again. “It makes you want blood quite badly. I’ve been aching for it since I killed Ide-san. That’s why you’re right. I’ve no right to go on when the only thing that could satisfy me would be killing others.”

“You don’t  _ need _ to kill for blood.”

“I suppose not, no, but it would be dangerous.”

Light frowned. “You really  _ want  _ to die again?”

“I enjoyed the time off.”

“You were dead!”

“What aren’t you understanding, Yagami-kun?”

Light looked at his fist in consideration, then at L’s face. He hit him. Or, he would have, but Light caught his fist in the air. L stared at it in wonder. Light wasn’t sure if he was marvelling at his own speed, or Light’s twitching pulse beneath his fingers.

“I think,” L spoke softly, without looking up from the wrist. “That you enjoy the thought that I might be worse than you. I imagine it does something to lighten your guilt, if L is the villain and Light the noble hero. You’ve called me a monster many times, and I’ve called myself one, but I’d never killed anyone. You have. And if you are guilty, Yagami-kun, then it is because you know you did something wrong.”

Light didn’t feel L lift or push him. He was just vaguely aware that he was spinning, and heard the sound of wind, and then he was suddenly pressed against the door he’d just locked. He saw his own reflection in the mirror over L’s shoulder. The blood had drained from his face. L tore his gaze away from Light’s wrist, now pinned under his hand, and stared at Light.

“You should rejoice,” L said sadly. “If you feel guilty, there is hope for you still.”

“Don’t lecture me,” Light started, but L cut him off.

“I’m not guilty,” L said. “I was once, but I’m not anymore. I killed Ide-san, who was a friend to both of us, and a good man, but I can’t find it in me to feel guilty because of how it changed me. So how weak must Kira be, who kills with clear motive, who kills for justice, and still feels shame?”

“I’m not guilty,” Light protested.

“No?” L leaned forward. Light felt his words against his neck. They were cold. “Are you afraid?”

“No,” Light lied, but he felt his pulse spike in terror at L’s sudden closeness, and heard the strangled way in which he spoke. 

“Yes, you are. That’s good.” L’s mouth was now so close to his throat that Light could almost feel his smile. “I was afraid of you. Not when you killed me, but before then. I knew who I was sleeping next to.”

“I thought you couldn’t remember well,” Light’s voice sounded feeble, even to him, and L looked up at him with shining eyes.

“I remember Yagami-kun,” he said simply, and he lowered Light gently to the ground. “I knew him, after all.”

“Yes.” Light kept his voice soft. He had to talk L down from whatever wildness had possessed him. “I knew you too.”

“I thought you did.” He ran his fingers down across Light’s neck. His icy touch felt electric, and Light could practically feel his own heart through them, shuddering and sad. “I hoped you would.”

“I still know you,” Light whispered. “You won’t hurt me.”

“No?” L glanced up at Light, and Light realized with deepening horror that he couldn’t make out his expression. It looked ravenous. “Yagami-kun should know that I can’t back down from a challenge.”

Light did not cry out when he felt L against down on his neck. The certainty of Light’s fear was almost too much to bare, and then L bit down and Light slumped against the door. The only thing supporting him was L’s hand at his wrist and his teeth at Light’s throat. His teeth, which did not hurt as they should have. His mouth was  _ warm. _ How could that be, when he was so cold? The contradiction was enough to keep Light from bolting when L pulled back. He threw Light into the bed, but it was just as smooth as the shove against the door, and Light collapsed into the blankets and scrambled to sit up against the headboard.

“Don’t do that again.” Light fumbled in his jacket, and came up with the stake he’d bought earlier.

The bed didn’t move when L hopped up beside him. Light saw no movement, just a sudden blur around L’s leg, and the stake clattered to the floor. Light reached for it and L caught him, pushing him back against the headboard. Light did cry out that time.

“What will you do?” L taunted again. “Kill me?”

“I could,” Light asserted.

“You couldn’t.”

“While you’re asleep.”

“How brave.” L’s voice was low, almost a purr. “But I won’t kill Yagami-kun, even if he kills me twice. You said it yourself, I don’t need to.” And he pressed his mouth against Light’s neck again and the sound that came out of Light wasn’t pained or afraid at all, but it was still weak and sad, and Light pushed L off of him. Or, maybe, L let him push him off.

“What do you  _ want _ ?” Light demanded. “Isn’t it enough that you’re here?”

“You never knew me,” L accused. “You still don’t.” He brought his hand to Light’s neck again, and pressed carefully against the spot he’d bitten. Light squirmed, and let out a strangled breath. “I wonder if Yagami-kun knows himself.” Then, very tenderly, L drew his hand across Light’s neck to pull the skin tight. He looked at Light, his eyes full of unspoken words: telling him he would not take enough to complete his transformation, and daring Light to stop him, but Light felt frozen against the bed and strangely resigned.

L brought his teeth to Light’s neck but did not bite him. Light drew in a ragged breath. If he allowed L to bite him, he thought, he would have triumphed in pushing L over the edge. The more blood L drank, the more desperate he would become and the easier it would be for Light to manipulate him. But it would be a hollow victory, rooted in L’s subjugation of him, and would serve to make L more powerful. Feeling some regret that he wouldn’t get to see L corrupted by his own hunger, Light brought his hand to the back of his head. His hair was a little greasy, he noticed with some detachment. He’d have to suggest that he wash it. And he’d have to wash his own hands, later. He worked his fingers through L’s hair, getting a firm grip.

“Ryuzaki,” Light said carefully. “L. I think you’ve made your point.”

“Have I?” His cool breath tickled Light’s neck, but Light did not move.

“Yes.”

Light tugged softly at his hair, and L allowed him to lift him slightly, but did not move his hand from Light’s neck. He felt L hum in consideration more than he heard him, then L pushed forward and buried his fangs in Light’s neck. Light cried out.

It hurt this time, far more than Light had expected, and then the hurt abruptly stopped and the wound felt delicious, warm and buzzing and Light was dizzy with blood loss and pleasure, and he found his grip on L’s hair inadvertently tightening to press him deeper into his neck. He jolted when L pulled away and Light heard himself moan, not quite believing that the sound could be his own. He turned his head as L licked the last traces of blood from the injury and then he ran his tongue up the length of Light’s neck, all the way to the hollow behind his ear.

“Stop,” Light finally managed, and didn’t know why it had taken him so long.

“Why?” L’s voice was low, almost breathy. “Why should I deny myself something I want, Light-kun? I’m dying to hear.”

“That hurt,” Light said, rather stupidly.

L tutted sympathetically. Anyone but Light might have believed the sound to be sincere. L raised his mouth slightly and spoke softly, so his words barely grazed Light’s ear.

“Of course,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t want to hurt Light-kun.”

He lingered there one moment longer, the only sound in the room Light’s slowing breath, and then L was at the doorframe. Light scrambled to sit up properly and brought his hand to his neck. 

“Kira-kun should rest.” L was himself again now. Any trace of the person he’d been a moment ago, when his fangs were bared, was gone. Light’s head swam as he looked down at his hands and saw that his fingers were dry, like no blood had left him at all. “His worries weigh heavy on him.”

Then he flicked off the light and, before Light could protest, L had closed the door.

Light sat there, breath heavy, heart beating quickly, and did not calm down. He wasn’t afraid, but there was something anxious in him, something that L had awakened. He hadn’t felt this way since they’d put L in the ground, so it had to be his fault. Light threw off the blankets, thinking he would get back up, but didn’t want to move.

He was hard. He’d been too caught up in the moment to notice, but now that L was gone and the blankets aside, it was hard to ignore.

_ It’s because I’m pent up, _ Light told himself.  _ And L  _ was  _ sitting on top of me. I’ve just been frustrated and he’s the first proper physical contact I’ve had, since I didn’t see Kiyomi or Misa today. I’m having a rational reaction _ . Light did not think about the rationality of his response to having his blood drained, just that his mouth was dry and he might like some water. But he did not want to go back through the kitchen and have to pass L.

Light bit his lip and, after weighing his options, decided to take care of himself. He did not think about L’s mouth against him when he pushed down his boxers to release his still-hardening erection, or about how hot that mouth had been. And Light certainly did not think about L’s superhuman hearing as he stroked himself. He pushed any possibility of L hearing him to the corners of his mind as his breath grew tighter. It felt like there was a bird in his chest, beating its wings with all the force it could muster. When Light came, he expected release, but he could still feel it fluttering and crying out. For the first time, he thought he might truly despise L.

His throat burned when he fell asleep. It would burn when he woke up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter isn't as sexy 😔i'm sorry to do it to you. it's still mean and gay tho

Light didn’t think about dying, but he did think about L. Not with vigor, the way he’d thought about L when they first met. He wasn’t trying to determine anything but whenever his thoughts wandered from his work it was to replay pieces of moments with L. The little mocking sound he’d made when Light said he hurt him, his wide and unreflective eyes, how soft and cold his hands were. The day passed in a daze. Light wasn’t sure if it was the blood loss, or if something else was awry. The bite had healed into a nasty bruise, and Matsuda exclaimed loudly when he saw it and started asking all sorts of questions about Kiyomi and Misa. He didn’t shut up until Aizawa looked ready to yell at him. Light thought he looked rather ill, or at least a little peaky, but no one commented on that. 

“I think I’m coming down with something.” Light made it a point to say so before everyone left for the day. He would be staying the night at headquarters but thought he might call in sick if he didn’t feel any better the next morning, and wanted everyone to remember him saying so. Matsuda nodded sympathetically.

Light expected to sleep better away from Misa and L. He didn’t feel the least bit guilty about leaving Misa alone with the vampire, even if he’d proven that he was willing to drink blood. Somehow, Light doubted L would stoop to drinking from her. After all, he’d only bitten Light after a fierce argument, and Light didn’t think Misa had the intellectual capacity to debate L without imploding. 

Still, Light’s heart strained against his ribcage. He’d done such a good job of putting L out of his mind these last few years, but now he came creeping back in. It seemed like every time Light turned a corner, there he was. Underneath every part of him, L was lurking like a shadow. Light tried to remember what he was like before the detective, but couldn’t quite find any answers. L had entered his life so quickly after Light found the death note, and Light had done his best to forget himself before Kira. Before all of that, there was only a vague trace of boredom and anger. Light remembered feeling tense, and confused, and struggling to fall asleep each night, but not much else.

Maybe that was why L got under his skin so easily. He’d been so tied up to Light’s identity, the only constant after Light found the notebook, and even when he lost it. That would explain why Light’s thoughts always circled back to him like a vulture, why whenever he set his mind elsewhere he still found himself fixating on L.

Light kept coming back to a particular conversation they’d had while handcuffed. It had been after a date with Misa. L must have been in a good mood, or maybe Light had been, because he could remember the chain between them being swung merrily back and forth but not who had actually done the swinging. It might have been Light, because he had thought the date went particularly well, which wasn’t something Light often thought about dates with Misa. L might have remarked on this, which could have started the conversation Light was thinking about, but he might not have. The memory wasn’t especially dear to Light, and was a little hazy.

When he did remember, with great clarity, was what L had said to him when they reached their bedroom.

“I wonder if Light-kun hates me.” He hung back as Light opened the door, eyes upward. Light hadn’t known what to do.

“Come inside,” Light said, because this was before he felt bold enough to tug on the chain whenever he needed L to move. L did not. “Why do you say that, Ryuzaki?”

“Light-kun would have a normal life, if not for me. Even if he were Kira. He could go on proper dates with Amane-chan, and attend classes.”

Light had smiled and leaned against the doorframe. “I don’t hate you, Ryuzaki.”

“Why not?”

“I want to catch Kira too, and it’s an honor to work with someone so renowned as you. And while the situation may be strange, and you certainly get on my nerves, I do enjoy your company.”

L smiled his strange smile, the one that made Light a little uncomfortable. “You’re just saying that.”

“So you won’t think I’m Kira?” Light finished. “Maybe. Do you hate me?”

“Ha,” L said. “No.”

“You must,” Light insisted. “If you think I’m Kira. You hate Kira, don’t you?”

L passed by Light to get into the room but stopped when he was next to him. He’d cupped Light’s face, which Light had thought was very strange. It was the first time L had touched him so fondly, and one of the only times. L typically avoided physical contact whenever possible. Even when he slept, he curled himself into a ball as far from Light as he could, threatening to fall off the bed.

“I look down on Kira,” L corrected. “I think he’s vile. It’s not much better than hating, perhaps. But no, Light-kun, I don’t hate you.”

“You think I’m vile?”

L mouth turned up at the side. This smile had been more genuine. “Not today.”

Light caught L’s wrist as he lowered it, and looked into his eyes. He couldn’t remember why, but at the time it felt urgent that L believe what he said. Maybe because Light had been so sure of it himself.

“I really don’t hate you,” he told L. “I mean it.”

L gave him a condoling pat. Light couldn’t remember what they did after that. Probably go to bed. Or, realistically, Light had probably gone to bed while L stayed up and tapped things into his laptop. 

Over the next week, Light had replayed that moment, trying to understand why L had bothered with such an intimate gesture, but when the situation didn’t repeat itself, the memory faded. Light hadn’t thought about that exchange in a long time.

He barely slept that night, and decided to take the next day off. Taking Misa out for the day might relieve some of his stress. She would annoy it out of him, if nothing else.

Misa, of course, was delighted by this idea. She always loved to take Light along with her when she ran errands, probably because it made her feel domestic. Her chore today was getting more ingredients for L’s substitute blood, which sabotaged Light’s plan of distraction. He decided to get some sleeping medication, as long as they were out, to see if they did him any good.

“Misa,” Light asked after they’d checked out. “How does it make you feel to have Ryuzaki with us?”

Misa beamed. “I’m always happy to spend time with your friends, Light! Besides, I like having someone around the house, even if he does sleep all day. It makes me feel a little less lonely.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Light took the bags from her, which Misa always protested, but he knew she liked it when he carried her things. She smiled gratefully at him and kissed his cheek when they reached the car. “It must be a little upsetting, after what you went through in confinement. I’d say you have every right to hate him.”

“I guess so.” Misa shrugged. “I don’t know. I think maybe I’ve been through some worse things. When that happened, it felt pretty awful, but I think I’ve felt worse.”

“Bad enough that it outweighs everything you went through?”

“Well, yes.” Misa buckled herself into the passenger seat. “I mean, when I lost my parents, and…” she trailed off. 

“And?” Light prompted. She started and turned toward him, putting a finger to her lips.

“I’m sorry, Light. I don’t remember what I was going to say.” She furrowed her brow. “It feels important, like there was something else. I guess that shows that something might feel terrible but just not stick with you, huh? Weird. Anyway, I’m just not worried about it.”

“Right. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“Mmhmm.” Misa nodded. She didn’t sound especially bothered, but said nothing else. They fell into a silence that was unusually morose for Misa. She stared into her lap and hummed absentmindedly. Light felt like he should say something, but wasn’t sure what. After a few moments, she straightened, looking like she was going to say something, then her eyes jumped to Light’s neck. She coughed pointedly. “So. I take it the investigation with Takada is going well then?” She laughed when Light jumped. He’d almost forgotten about the mark on his neck, especially when she hadn’t commented earlier. “Light, I know that you’re just doing this for work. But I wish you were more open about it with me.”

“I understand.” Light started the car. “I really am sorry about this, you know. I won’t keep any more secrets from you, Misa.”

Misa pecked him on the cheek. “Perfect! You are the light of my life, my beloved!”

Light laughed off her silly admirations. He wondered if she even considered that he might be lying. The sad thing was, he was pretty sure she didn’t. “Let me make it up to you. Tonight. I’ll take you out for a nice dinner and we can spend the evening together. No investigation, no Kira, no Kiyomi, and no vampires.”

Misa clapped excitedly. Light let her choose their restaurant, saying it was because this was her night out, but privately thinking he couldn’t be bothered. The last time they’d eaten out it had been in sad, uncomfortable silence. Tonight, he’d charmed Misa back into being talkative. She prattled on about her comeback show and Light listened, drinking whiskey. He had a tradition of drinking more than he should when they went out, which was how he made it through their outings. When Light was drunk, he was particularly good at turning inward, which Misa always took as extremely active listening. Sometimes, it made him a more affectionate partner, which she liked more.

Light had long ago resigned himself to a life devoid of any connection. When he first realized that he would never develop any sort of feelings for Misa, it hadn’t felt especially important, but that was when he was younger and Misa was Kira. Light had felt something of an affinity for her because of their partnership, and had still been new to any sort of romantic or sexual companionship. Now that he was older, he wasn’t lonely, but he did feel his lack of love a little more acutely. He’d never fantasized about finding a woman he cared about more, and now that he’d reconnected with Kiyomi, he felt certain he never would. Light just wasn’t the type to make space for anyone else in his heart. Honestly, he’d never cared much for romantic fantasies anyway.

They took a cab home, since they were both too inebriated to drive. Misa kissed Light as desperately as she could without overstepping his boundaries on public affection. Which were really less of a boundary and more of a philosophical stance, anyway. Light kissed her back, more greedily than he would have sober. He could be a wonderful partner when he set his mind to it and, remembering how pent up he’d seemed to be a few nights ago, Light decided he would set his mind to it. He kissed Misa on the sidewalk, on the stairs. He pressed her against the door when he went to unlock it and kissed her into their apartment without even considering that L might see, and when he looked around to check, Misa pulled him back down to kiss him again.

It was mismatched and aggressive. Misa was always rough where Light was gentle, and he was always fast where she moved slow. It was another reason they simply didn’t work, but Misa never said anything about it.

In the end, Light didn’t feel especially relieved, but he did feel tired and soothed enough to fall asleep in Misa’s bed. His eyelids were heavy and he passed into a dreamless sleep.

He did not feel lonely.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is this author's humble opinion that the chapter following this one is one of my spiciest yet

Light only slept for a little while before he woke up, desperately needing to pee and with the beginnings of a vicious headache. He remembered that he’d forgotten the sleeping pills he’d bought and sat up very quickly, which somehow resulted in his falling off the bed. Light pulled himself to a stand. Misa rolled over in bed, pulling the blankets tighter around herself, and let out a loud snore. Light couldn’t imagine anything waking her, and didn’t worry about staying quiet as he left.

“L!” he called out, less to greet the detective and more to voice his realization that L was sitting on the sofa. L turned his head and the expression on his face made Light laugh, which only made L frown harder as he sat down his book.

“Where are you going?” L asked, watching Light walk toward the door.

“We left our car at the restaurant,” Light said. That should have been obvious. “I gotta get it.”

“You’re still drunk.”

“No. I went to bed.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No,” Light said again. Because L was being particularly dense, he added “I don’t want you to do that.”

“Try and stop me, Yagami-kun.”

Light pointed at L, but couldn’t think of a response that wasn’t a death threat and let his hand fall. “Fine.”

It was freezing outside, and Light instantly felt a little less drunk and a little more miserable. He hadn’t thought about putting on more than a light jacket, and tried not to shiver. L, of course, was completely unaffected by the temperature. He’d always been a little stingy about the cold, and it was odd to see him so unperturbed by it. L was actually wearing his signature shirt and jeans. “Did you get yourself clothes?”

“I did.”

“That’s good,” Light said awkwardly, and they fell into silence. Light fidgeted with his coat and tried to pretend he didn’t care about the cold either.

“It’s supposed to snow tomorrow,” L said after a little while. Light looked over at him in surprise. L was staring up at the sky. He walked faster than he had when he was alive. Light remembered being annoyed by his slow shamble, but now he moved briskly, cutting through the night like a knife through butter. Light had to lengthen his stride to keep up. “I haven’t seen snow in a long time.”

“Are you being morose now?”

L looked over at Light, and Light disliked how quickly his eyes moved.

“Don’t look at me like that.” L cocked his head but said nothing. His eyes remained dark and empty, blackwater that Light was afraid had no bottom.

“I’m sorry,” L said. “But I don’t know how I’m looking at you.”

“Nevermind.” Light broke his gaze to look forward. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You didn’t come home last night. Were you with your other girlfriend?”

“I don’t have another girlfriend, and I wasn’t with Kiyomi.”

L tutted, unconvinced, but didn’t push it. 

The city was unusually quiet. It was always a little empty now, one of the side effects of a vampire plague and of Kira’s reign, and the cold was probably keeping anyone else off the street. They only passed a few people on their walk to the car, all of them in a hurry, none of them seeming to take note of Light and L. The lights in the restaurant were still on, but it had clearly closed.

“Do you have your keys?” L asked.

Light reached into his pocket and didn’t find them. He didn’t need to say anything; when he looked back up L was already sighing in annoyance.

“Just wait here,” L said, and then he was gone into the night. Light leaned against the car, but it was even colder than the frigid night air, and he straightened back up. He didn’t like feeling so dependant on anyone, let alone L, especially when L had already made it clear that he was willing to suck his blood. After a moment of consideration, Light crossed the street to wait inside a bar. He did have his wallet and decided a drink would keep his hangover at bay and warm him back up. He saw L lurking by the door as he finished and left. He’d gotten a little tipsier than he’d intended to and nearly tripped over the doormat.

L furrowed his brow and reached out to support Light. “Are you an alcoholic now?”

“Of course not,” Light said. “I can abuse alcohol without being an alcoholic.”

L held his other arm forward. Light took it to steady himself, and L coughed. Light looked down and saw he was holding his coat. He tried not to look pleased as he put it on.

“How uncharacteristically thoughtful of you,” Light’s smile was more mean than grateful. “Resurrection really has changed you. No wonder you got here so fa _ a _ st.” Light stretched out the last word without meaning to, and L smirked. He held out Light’s keys and unlocked the car. Light hurried across the street and opened the back door.

“Forget something important?” L called out as he ambled after Light. “Your notebook, maybe?” Light stood up with the bottle of sleeping pills as L reached him. He didn’t look impressed. “So you have trouble sleeping now. Does poor Yagami-kun have a guilty conscience?” Light set about opening the bottle, and L’s hand darted out. It was cold as the air around it, which made it feel strange. Like silk. “I wouldn’t take anything when you’ve been drinking, especially not before you’ve gotten home.”

“Alright.” Light managed to get the cap off and pulled out a pill. He held it up defiantly. “I’m going home then.”

“I can drive you.”

“Ha,” Light said, but L’s expression didn’t change. “You can drive?!”

L blinked slowly. “Of course I can drive. Why would you assume otherwise?”

Light could only make an incredulous noise, and he realized the answer was rather stupid. “How— how do you reach the pedals?”

L frowned. “I’m not that much shorter than you, Light-kun.”

“But you sit,” Light said. “I mean— do you sit like a normal person? And wouldn’t Watari have driven you? How do you hold the wheel?”

“Just get in the car,” L snapped. Light, startled by the sudden malice in his tone, obeyed. He set the pill on his tongue, and swallowed thickly. L clambered into the driver’s seat. He pulled one knee up against his chest but kept the other where it could reach the brakes, and Light stared at him in wonder. L muttered something that sounded irritated under his breath and turned the car on.

“Hey,” Light turned to look into the backseat. “The groceries are still in here too. It’s cold enough that I don’t think they went bad. Misa got you more. You know, more stuff. Do you want—” L slammed his foot onto the gas and Light yelped as the car accelerated.

L, Light realized, most certainly did not know how to drive. He might have understood the general principles, but had no gift for it beyond that. It didn’t take long for Light to start feeling nauseous, and he pressed himself into his seat in the vain hope that it would steady him. He hoped the ride would be over soon, but L rocketed right by his house.

“That was home.” L looked over at him and gave Light one of his more unsettling smiles. Light sank further into his seat. “I hate you,” he moaned. “You’re the worst.”

L drove in circles for a little while, which made Light feel dizzy, before finally pulling to a stop.

“Would you like to join me for a walk?” he asked.

“No,” Light said. “I’d actually really like to stay in this warm car.”

“You’ve aged poorly. Yagami-kun used to be so adventurous.”

“Well, you’re a shit driver, and I feel sick. So my adventurous spirit is waning, I’m afraid.”

“The cold air will help.”

Light rolled his eyes. If L wasn’t going to let up, he may as well join. He pulled himself out of the car and, after taking a moment to steady himself, followed L down the sidewalk. He still felt a little dizzy.

“Where are we?”

“To-oh.”

“Are you feeling nostalgic?”

L gave Light the same empty look and blinked again. The blink was different. Light couldn’t explain it, but it felt like the blink of a predator. He reached into his coat pocket. L had taken out the stakes. Of course.

“I am,” L said, and looked back up at the sky, then held out his hand. “How disappointing. It’s only rain.”

“Do you like snow now? You always hated the cold.”

“I didn’t like the heat any either.” L looked down at his hand and turned it so his palm faced the ground. The raindrop rolled off of it like glass instead of sinking into his skin. “I never cared for any extreme temperature, really. But I don’t notice it much anymore. A drop fell onto Light, and he reached up to brush it through his hair. L caught another raindrop, then turned his hand to let it fall again. “It was raining the day I died.” He didn’t say it in a way that sounded unpleasant. He might have been telling Light that it had rained on his arrival in Japan. Only he wasn’t, and the words meant so much more, but L didn’t appear to care. L never appeared to care. It was one of his more frustrating qualities.

L suddenly grabbed Light’s hand and pulled. By the time Light was aware L was moving him, L had already stopped moving, which resulted in Light tripping and falling against him. L pushed him back up and off of him. He’d maneuvered them under a ledge, and after a few moments when the rain began to pour down, it was clear why. Light staggered then, still feeling nauseous from the car ride and the alcohol, he fell onto his knees and vomited. He stared into the puddle of sick, not quite believing it was there, and grateful the rain was already starting to wash it away.

“Actually,” L sank into a squat next to him. “This is about as hard as it was raining when I died. How poetic.”

“Why?” Light looked up at him, a little bleary. His voice was hoarse. “Are you planning to kill me?”

L didn’t answer. “I still would have preferred snow.”

He reached out to Light again, this time for his neck. Light tried to move back but fell against the wall, and L rested his cold hand on his collarbone. Light didn’t think he’d ever been to this particular part of the school before, which wasn’t good. He couldn’t think of any clever path to get away. He thought they might be near the administrative offices, but if Light could get into them, he wouldn’t have any idea where to hide. And it wouldn’t matter. L would run much faster than him, or follow his heartbeat, and catch back up.

“Are you going to kill me?” Light asked again. L pressed his finger into the spot he’d bitten Light. It was soft at first, then firm, then suddenly hard, digging deep into Light’s skin and threatening to tear it. The pain surprised Light. It was sudden and hot and made him gasp. Then L pulled his hand back to reach into the pocket of his jeans and stood up. Light’s hand flew to cover the spot, as though touching it himself would make the hurt subside.

“I’ve already told you I won’t kill you,” L said. “Does Yagami-kun really think so little of me? Or maybe you doubt my self control.”

“You’ve known me at least five years,” Light said. “If I’m supposed to call you L now, I think you can call me Light.”

He wasn't sure why he said that. It surprised him as much as it did L, who widened his eyes a little. Light felt uncomfortable and itchy and his neck burned where L had pressed his finger against it. His stomach did a few flips when L looked him over. Light couldn’t remember ever being so flustered around L, not even when they were handcuffed together. He’d certainly been nervous, but never anything like this. He actually felt embarrassed.

But then, Light didn’t feel anything like he had when he’d first known L. It wasn’t just that Light had changed, although he had. He just didn’t feel the same. Around L, Light had always been sharp. He’d always felt laser-focused and quick on his feet. But the change wasn’t because of L’s metamorphosis; it felt more internal. In truth, Light felt most similar to the way he had immediately after L’s passing, sans victory. He was still sharp, but felt more jagged, and worried he would cut himself on his own edges. His mind was hazy, not from fear but something Light didn’t want to name. He thought he might have tried to bury certain parts of his soul when he buried Ryuzaki, the parts he needed to remove to become the world’s savior. It must be their loss he felt so acutely now because he couldn’t possibly still be feeling the loss of Ryuzaki.

L didn’t respond to Light’s suggestion that he call him only by his name, and looked out onto the rainy streets behind To-Oh. “I wonder how you felt when you met me here. Were you afraid of me then, or is that new?”

Light didn’t know what to say. If he was being honest, he couldn’t remember. He’d never been particularly emotion-oriented. Light tended to remember what he had done or thought, not how he’d felt while doing so.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Light told L. “Why would I be? Why would I have been?”

“Stand up.” L looked back out to the street. “You look pathetic.” Light stood, not really wanting to give L the satisfaction of obedience, but not wanting to look pathetic either. “Do you still feel drunk?”

“No. Now I just feel tired.”

“It’s only midnight,” L said. “Maybe even a little earlier.”

“Well, I’ve had a longer day than you. Do you have the keys?”

“No. I left them in the car.”

“This isn’t all that safe an area. I don’t know why you’d do something like that.”

L clucked his tongue sadly. “You mean Kira hasn’t put an end to car robbery? Shame.”

Light narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know. Crime rates are down, but this wasn’t safe when we were going to school here. And I haven’t been back since. I don’t know.”

“You didn’t go back to school?” L looked back over at Light. “But you made such a fuss about putting your life on hold. Did I taint the memory for you?”

“I was busy.” Light’s throat felt dry now, and swollen, but he managed to offer L one of his more winning smiles. It was the same smile that had gotten L out of the rain five years ago. “I had to avenge you, didn’t I?”

L looked as though Light had just delivered the most unnerving news of his life. He stared at him like that for a good minute, in distressed confusion, then looked away.

“I wonder, Light, how much you’ve built yourself on lies and how much you’ve built yourself on hypocrisy. Did you really have the audacity to believe such a thing? Or only the audacity to say so?”

“Do you want me to apologize for mourning you?”

“No.”

“For something else, then?”

L glanced down at his feet. They were bare, even though the ground was cold as ice. Light remembered, with a painful stab, how much L had hated cold floors. He remembered his crossing the room to come to bed one night when the heater in their room was out, on a particularly cold night, only a week before Light would kill Higuchi. L had tottered across the room on his tiptoes. Light couldn’t explain why, but he was suddenly quite sad that the L before him now would never do so.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” L said, looking back to the rain. “I wouldn’t have forgiven you if it had been someone else.”

“What does that mean?”

“Then again.” L pulled his hand out of his pocket. He was holding one of Light’s stakes. He balanced it between his two index fingers. “It’s almost funny. By the time I died, I’d decided to forgive you. Maybe forgiveness is the wrong word, but I would allow it. But it was more. I thought you’d reveal yourself then, probably because you’d try to do it yourself. I didn’t think you would hide behind the shinigami. And,” L spun the stake between his hands absentmindedly, flicking it with his thumbs to keep it revolving. “I’d forgiven you for something else. For not wanting to do otherwise. I might have felt otherwise if I thought you really cared about me. But I didn’t. Perhaps that’s why I feel so wronged. I’ve long forgiven you for being Kira, Light. But I’d like to know which it is. Are you a hypocrite? Or are you still trying to lie to me?”

“You’re a liar too. You told me so.”

L grinned and Light saw how sharp his teeth were. He stopped spinning the stake and his eyes shone in the dark, reminding Light of a cat readying itself to pounce. He had the same sudden stillness, the charged expectation.

“Light.”

L’s tone was pleased, but cold. He seemed to have made up his mind about something. He pulled his hands apart and the stake fell to the ground in front of him. He took a step back, not breaking eye contact with Light. When he spoke again, his voice was low, almost breathy. Light was so caught off guard by it that it took him a moment to realize what he’d said

“Fetch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (me, editing to post): heh... this dude is gay...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the piano music starts, I recommend popping this bad boy in to really heighten that reading experience. The link is follows, [ but if for some reason that doesn't work or dies or what have you, it's Mozart's Lacrimosa played only on the piano. Y'all seen Amadeus? Great movie.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Yamu70Z_FI) That's not why I picked the song, it's just related. Anyway, this chapter makes me feel things.

_ “Yagami-kun flatters himself. He thinks no one else has ever thought to lie.” _

Light’s hands closed around the stake and he straightened, barely registering the rain he’d exposed himself too. He looked back at the awning he and L had huddled under but L was gone now. Light could hear his heart pounding and clutched the stake to his chest. He gulped for air, not quite feeling it reach his lungs, and wheeled in circles but did not find L. Then he felt the hand on his shoulder and spun around, wielding the stake at the air, but L had already fallen back. He stood, practically a statue in the dark, and stared at Light with shining eyes. The look on his face that was finally familiar; the same morbid glee L had shown when he first saw Misa and put two and two together. Somehow, still though he was, he looked more alive to Light than he had since he rose, but he didn’t look human either. He had the patient stance of a predator, the hungry eyes of a hunter. He only looked familiar because he was doing what Ryuzaki loved most, and that was chasing after someone. Light pulled the stake back to his chest, as though holding it closer would make it more effective, and L took a step toward him.

_ “Are you satisfied?” _

_ “No.” _

“What the hell are you doing?” Light took a step back and L, another toward him.

L cocked his head quizzically, and when he spoke, his voice was practically a purr.

“I would run.”

Light took another step back as L advanced, then another, then he finally turned and ran.

L had left the keys in the car, that meant that if Light circled back around and made it he could probably outpace L. But that would mean turning around and getting past him, which Light wasn’t sure he could manage. He couldn’t outrun L, but he was doing okay so far, which meant L wanted him to have a head start.

It was humiliating, being made a sport out of, but Light didn’t think he could afford not to play. His only way out was to win, so he would win. That was fine. Light was good at winning.

His head clearer, he changed his trajectory to aim for the campus proper. L would probably expect him to do so, since it was more familiar, but Light needed to be somewhere where there might be other people, and to be around more open buildings. Light turned and didn’t see L behind him. He stopped and tried to catch his breath. It was hard enough to get his bearings on a part of campus he hadn’t been, and even more difficult at night and in the rain. At least it wasn’t snowing. Light squinted, trying to make out buildings further into the darkness, and saw something that looked almost familiar. He jogged over. The swimming pool. The tennis courts were past it. L would expect him to head that way, he thought — so he turned and sprinted in the opposite direction.

Light was hardly out of shape, but he had never run like this before. He did not feel his feet on the pavement, or the rain spiking into his skin, just air flowing through him and his heart pumping, and it was all too much. He could barely keep it together. He did not feel afraid, but he did feel desperate, and a little unhinged. Would L really kill him? He’d been so sure of himself just a few days ago, talking about how he didn’t want to carry on as a vampire. Was it even possible for L to kill him without completing his transformation? Surely not. But maybe L couldn’t be bothered with that right now. He might not care anymore.

Light practically collided with the music building, slipping on the ground and collapsing against the door. He realized that, though his skin still stung from the rain, it was no longer pelting him, and looked back.

It was snowing after all. There were a few footprints behind Light, but he couldn’t worry about that now. The rest of the snow would cover them. He found a door and pulled, and nearly wept when it opened.

He did not run through the building. Now that he’d found a hiding place, he needed to calm himself down. Light walked at a brisk pace, calling on all his self control to keep form breaking back into a sprint, and glanced around. Somewhere with only one door would be easier to hold down, but harder to escape.

Light opened a somewhat inconspicuous door, and saw what was clearly the backstage to the auditorium. He closed it and walked out onto the stage. This was where he and L had delivered their speeches, and L had revealed himself. It wasn’t any good, he might come here too.

But, Light was was tired, and there were only two entrances to the audience. He climbed off the stage and went to one, and pressed his back against it. He could see the stage, and the other entrance, and would feel if anyone tried to open the door.

After leaning against it for a moment, Light sank down. He checked his watch. It was thirty minutes past midnight. Light pulled his knees to his chest and looked from the door to the stage.

He was incredibly tired, and felt a headache beginning to settle over him, but kept looking from the stage to the other door. Sometimes, he would close his eyes to blink and struggle to open them back up. After an hour, he stood up, but decided moving was too dangerous. He just had to stay here until dawn, then he could go home. He didn’t know about after that, but once he was home, he could rest, and he’d have won. Light walked to the other door, then back, then sat back down. At two, he wondered briefly if L might just not be chasing him, and was just trying to scare him.

At two forty six, Light was woken up by piano music.

He blinked away his sleep and sat up. He was on the floor of the auditorium. Light scrambled to a stand, but there was no one else.

The piano was faint, so faint he almost thought he was imagining it. But when he pulled the door open, ever so slightly, he thought it might have gotten louder. There was someone else in the building. A pianist.

Light slipped out the door.

He followed the music down the hall. Sometimes it swelled, and sometimes it grew faint, but it didn’t stop. He reached the stairs and followed it up. He thought it might be Mozart, but did not recognize the sonata. Light stopped at the third floor. This looked to be where the practice rooms were, and the music was louder here. It was a minor key, slow and sad, and Light followed it to the end of the hallway. It was coming from a studio with a sign up sheet outside, marked with times. None of those times were three in the morning. There was a small window, and Light looked through it. It was dark.

Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to him that it might be L.

Light opened the door but L didn’t greet him, did not even look up. For a moment Light thought his eyes might be closed, but they weren’t, just half-lidded as he watched his hands move across the notes. He was sitting in an awkward criss-cross, but did not look remotely uncomfortable, and the focus with which he played made the position almost seem serene. It was a grand piano, and the music swelled from it to fill the otherwise empty room. The music had reached a lull when Light entered, but now it strengthened again. The notes were simple, but heavy, and fell on Light with more force than the storm outside had. And then they softened, and only their echo hung in the air.

Light realized his hands were empty. In his sleep-deprived haze, he’d left the stake in the auditorium. He stared at L, feeling panic start to brew again near the base of his stomach. His lungs felt like ice, probably from his sprint across campus, and now that he’d stopped running his legs were unsteady. He had nothing. And L wouldn’t look up at him. It was like he wasn’t even there.

“I didn’t know you played piano,” Light finally said when the silence grew deafening.

“I didn’t know you were a monster,” L said. “And yet. Here we are.” After a pause, he smiled. “No. That’s not fair, is it? I knew. I just didn’t know what kind.”

Then he did look over at Light. He patted the bench next to him. What else was there to do? He joined L.

“Do you play?”

“I did once. In middle school.” Light lifted his hands. They felt too heavy at the wrists, and when he set them on the keys, he wanted to let them fall down and stay there. “I wasn’t half bad. But I wasn’t as good as I liked to be at things, so I didn’t stick with it. I never learnt any Mozart.”

“You recognized it?” L sounded pleased. “It was only half Mozart. His death interrupted him.”

“I see,” Light said carefully, not wanting to start L on death again and risk getting his head bitten off, but L didn’t linger on the subject. 

“Play,” he said.

Light’s fingers traced out something from memory. There wasn’t much heart behind it but L watched his fingers with piqued interest. Light did not like his expression much. It reminded him of the way a cat watched a fish. Then L put his ghostly hand on Light’s wrist and looked into his eyes. They were as black and deep as ever, blacker than the night Light had struggled to find his way through. These were harder to find his way out of. Light did not look away.

“Now me,” L said.

Light thought L meant that he was going to play, but his hand moved to rest on top of Light’s before he could pull it back. He pressed against Light’s fingers and Light pressed into the keys. It was clunky, but somehow, it sounded sincere. Light almost laughed when he recognized it. It was another Mozart, this one far easier to name — Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

L did not pull his hand away when the song finished. After a moment, he turned to face Light, closing the piano with a dull thud. He brought his hand to Light’s neck again, but this time, Light caught it there. L stared at Light’s bruise with fascination, the same fascination with which he’d watched him play, then he pressed down gently. His eyes shot back up to Light’s when he winced. Light squeezed L’s wrist and moved his hand away, but it shot back out toward him. This time it rested on Light’s chest, over his heartbeat, and L stared down at it as though he could not quite comprehend it.

“I have an idea about you,” L said. “A theory.”

“I think we’re well past that point, L.” Light put his hand over L’s to move it away again. “That’s all over.”

“No.” L dug his hand into the fabric of Light’s coat. He looked up at Light, with a near manic gleam. “You can’t take that away from me.”

“We play these silly games,” Light said. “You take my freedom and I take yours, you deprive me of my humanity so I deprive you of yours. You lie to me and I lie to you. I’m putting a stop to it.”

“Is that what you’ve done.” Despite the phrasing, it wasn’t a question. L did not pull his hand back, but loosened his grip on the fabric.

“We’re past this,” Light said again. “It’s over now. You told me you wanted to be dead.”

“It seemed to upset you.”

“It was somewhat troubling to hear.”

“You don’t even want to hear it,” L went on. “You don’t even want to hear my theory.”

“You just used me to play some bizarre game of cat and mouse in the middle of the night in  _ December _ ,” Light said. “The only reason we aren’t physically fighting is because of how exhausted I am. No, I don’t want to hear your theory.”

“It was so boring,” L said. His gaze met Light again and his eyes drove into Light, sad. Hurt, even, like Light had let him down. “It did feel good, for a moment, when you first started running. But it was so easy. I just followed you here. I sat behind the curtain for a long time, and it was fun when you would almost fall asleep and then look around for me, and not see me. But it was still incredibly boring.”

“Maybe you would have enjoyed yourself more if you actually wanted to kill me.”

L hummed in consideration, and looked away. “Maybe.”

Light relaxed a little at the confirmation that L didn’t really want him dead, and let his hand fall back to his side. L squeezed the fabric of his coat again, less desperately, the gesture suddenly seeming very sincere, then let his own hand fall. He closed his eyes, took in a shaky breath, and then opened them again. He stared out at nothing.

“Tell me the truth,” L told Light. “I’m going to ask you something. And will you tell me the truth?” Light said nothing. After a moment, L went on. “Does it make you very disappointed?”

“Does what?”

“I didn’t plan this,” L went on. “I was just trying something, because of my theory. It was an idea I had, so I did it. I’ve never been in this room before today. It’s just the two of us right now.”

“Does what disappoint me?”

L fell silent. Light’s eyes had adjusted to the dark better now, and he saw him pull his legs up to his chest. He brushed his thumb over his lip, but did not fasten it in place.

“You put so much work into this whole Kira thing,” L finally said. “And right when it was finally starting to work out for you, there’s suddenly a vampire plague. You said the notebook doesn’t work on vampires. It must be very frustrating.”

A long silence passed. Light closed his eyes. He did believe L. He weighed his options for a moment, and then decided it didn’t really matter anyway. And he’d never had the chance to complain about it.

“Yes,” Light said. “It does.”

L turned to look at him with lightning speed, but did not make any sound. Slowly, he let his legs fall back down, and turned back to Light. He looked at him with an unreadable expression. Then he spoke again. Each word was weighted, like L had spent all week choosing them.

“What disappoints you more? That, or the fact that after all that work, you’ll still go the same way as everyone else?” Light considered this, feeling a little uncomfortable under L’s penetrating gaze. L glanced down at Light’s mouth quickly. “Is that too personal?”

“I don’t know,” Light did what he always did when he was uncomfortable, and offered up his most winning smile. “I suppose I’m a little jealous that of the two of us, you’re the one who gets a shot at immortality.”

L practically knocked him off the bench. He lunged for Light’s neck and they both fell off of it, Light with his knees still bent over it, and L was on top of him, one hand on each side of his head, so Light had no way to sit back up.

“Get off of me,” Light said.

“You said it.” L’s glee was unmasked. “After a year, you finally said it. That’s when I first started to wonder about you, last December. I wasn’t really sure until March, but I had a gut feeling. I don’t normally care so much about gut feelings, but you were different.”

“Slow down.” Light tried to sit up, but the angle wasn’t right and he fell back down, so he switched tactics. “L, that was six years ago. It’s 2009.”

“Six years,” L repeated. He wasn’t fazed, and did not move. “That’s better, I think. That’s exquisite. Nothing’s ever taken me that long before. You’re really my hardest case.”

“Nothing’s taken you anything,” Light said. “Have you gone mental? You’re dead, and I haven’t done anything. I only said I was frustrated.”

“I  _ know, _ ” L took hold of Light’s hair and Light yelped as he pulled it, jerking Light’s head to the side. He tried to throw L off but he just pressed his other hand into Light’s shoulder and pinned Light down. Light thrashed but L was too strong now, and there wasn’t any way for Light to throw him off, or even to protect his neck, which L had forced him to expose.

“Say it again,” L said. “I won’t hurt you. Just say it again.”

“You’re hurting me right now.”

“I won’t hurt you more.”

Light tried again to push L off. “You haven’t done anything. You haven’t proved anything.”

“I might have cared about that more if I weren’t already dead.” L leaned down over Light, his nose practically grazing his cheek. “Say it again.”

Light drew in a breath, which was something of a feat in his current position.

“It’s you,” L prompted.

“It’s me,” Light repeated. L did not release him. He sat up, but kept his hands on his shoulder and in his hair.

“Higuchi,” L said. “I knew it wasn’t him. How did you kill him in front of me? There wasn’t anything in the notebook. And you didn’t have a pen.”

“My watch,” Light said, thinking that it would get L to move. He released Light’s hair to grab his wrist, and Light tried to sit up again, but L was still too focused on keeping him down and so his grip was too strong. L pulled his hand up toward his face to examine the watch. “You pull the knob four times—”

Fiddling with the watch was supposed to get L’s attention, and require use of his hands, which would have allowed Light to roll over and sit up. But L seemed intent on driving Light to the brink of madness and smashed Light’s wrist against the floor. Light let out a shout of pain and the watch shattered. L pulled up the piece of paper. He touched his tongue to it.

“Blood,” L said. “You wrote his name in blood. You hid this in here for when you got it back and then you wrote his name with your blood.”

Light jerked his wrist out from under L and cradled it in his other hand.  _ “Ow.” _

“I’m sorry,” L said. “I got very excited.”

He still did not move. Light stared up at him, and thought maybe a stern approach would work. It had when they were handcuffed. L had teased him about it, when he was stern, but it always got him to behave. Light frowned and narrowed his eyes. “Let me up.” L did not tease him for being stern, or even seem to notice.

“I’ll tell you something now,” he prattled on. He  _ was _ excited. Light had never heard him talk so quickly. “About myself, to keep things fair. Would you like that?”

Sternness had not worked, so Light would be sweet. That had worked when they were handcuffed too. Light blinked at L nd tried to look demure. “I would like it if you let me up.” After a moment of thought, Light added “Please.” L touched his neck and Light tried to move him away by rolling his shoulder. “L, stop.”

“I play a game with you,” L told Light. “That’s my secret. Not with you, really. With your breath. It’s very quiet, but I listen to it, and the sound it makes in the back of your throat. You make a little sound, right when I go to touch you. It’s always a bit surprised, even when you know it’s coming. It’s the same sound whether it’s your throat or your arm or your chest. If it’s right here, where I bit you, you make a little sound after, like it hurts. Like this.”

L pressed his cold finger against Light’s throat. Light, feeling cross, stifled his reaction, but L only nodded as though he’d made his point.

“But the sound you make after is the same sound.” L dragged his finger across the bruise, then rubbed it with his thumb, as though he might polish it. “The same as when I touch you other places, I mean. And it sounds like you want me to do it again.”

“Do what again?”

L let go of Light and moved to the side. Light sat up, kicking the bench away.

“I’m sorry,” L said again. “I only just realized. It probably wasn’t very comfortable.”

“You can stop apologizing.” Light’s cheeks felt hot. “ _ And _ you can drive me home. I don’t know what time it is, but we shouldn’t be here when classes start, and I have work.”

“Don’t go to work,” L said. “Take the day off.”

“I took yesterday off.”

“Yes, and spent it with Misa. Take today off and spend it with me.”

“And do what? Sit around all day?”

“Sleep.” L grabbed Light’s shoulders. “You were always so angry that I didn’t sleep. I do it now.”

“That’s nice,” Light said. “But I can’t take off work to watch you sleep. I think you might actually be starting to lose it a little.”

L released his shoulders and cupped Light’s face. “You’re right. But just stay like this a little longer.”

“Like what?”

“You’ve been so different,” L said. “I barely recognized you. But you’re you now. Just stay here with me.”

“I can’t stay here with you forever.”

“Let me do it again.” L pulled Light’s face forward, so their foreheads were pressed together. “Say you’ll let me do it again. I want to do it again.”

“Do what? Chase me?” Light shrugged L off and pushed him back. L reached for his neck and Light batted him away. Thankfully, he didn’t seem as set on forcing Light to accommodate him this time. “Drink my blood? No, I won’t. You told me you wanted to go back to being dead. And do you know how sick I was?”

“No,” L said. “Not that. It’s not about the blood.”

“Yes it is.” Light pushed himself back, away from L. “This is how it happens. You’re not yourself right now. I don’t know why I’m humoring you like this. Stop it so we can go home.”

L lunged forward again and his mouth fastened on Light’s neck. Light tried to throw him off but he held on, not with his fangs, but with his hands, one on his shoulderblade and one on the small of his back. Then L pulled back.

“What,” Light snapped, bringing a hand to his neck to cover it. “Is my blood alcohol level too high for you?”

“Look at your hand,” L told him.

Light looked at his hand. It was clean. He put it back against his neck and it felt wet, but when he pulled it away, there was no red.

“What did you do?” he asked, utterly flummoxed. “How’d you do that?”

L moved one hand to cup his face. “I told you, I didn’t want the blood. It’s not about that.”

“Then what do you want?”

L beamed and cocked his head. He looked proud of himself. “Despite being so full of yourself, has it never occurred to you that I might have wondered long before my death how Yagami-kun tasted?”

Light blinked. “What?”

“Tell me to do it again.” The words were an instruction, but L’s tone was pleading.

Light gaped for a moment, then nodded. L pressed his mouth against his throat and Light could not manage to close his eyes or look away from him, his head nestled in the crook of his neck. Then Light felt L’s tongue and everything felt different, slanted, and his breath caught in his throat. It was the same as when he bit him, L’s mouth was hot and insistent, but it was gentler, better, and Light heard the sound that L described, faint, and remembered how he had moaned when L pulled away. Light did not realize his eyes had closed until L pulled away again, and Light opened them slowly.

“Why would you do that?” he asked.

“It’s remarkable. You’ve a wonderful mind, but you can be so stupid.”

This time, L did not go for his neck. He pressed his mouth against Light’s, his fangs knocking against Light’s teeth, and Light thought his heart might have stopped beating completely. He jerked back.

“Are you gay?” Light demanded.

“Tell me to stop,” L instructed.

Light paused, then shook his head, and this time L kissed him properly. 

Light did feel stupid, he realized, with detached clarity. He’d lain beside L for months before, even sharing a bed with him. He’d done so again now, and it had never even occurred to him to want this or even to think about it. And it was good. It was great. L’s mouth was hot and soft, his touch was cool and only a little insistent. Had L been interested in him this entire time? Light could have been sleeping with him through the whole investigation? He’d never been interested in sex before with any of his girlfriends, but he wanted L to carry on with him. This had to be something to do with the sickness. Maybe Light was infected, or maybe it made L more attractive. That had to be it. The sickness probably made L more alluring, and he was probably trying to lower Light’s guard so he’d be more pliable when he struck.

Light pushed back L again and stared at him searchingly. He realized, with a start, that his hands were cupping L’s face, and all of Light’s life suddenly clicked into place. No, he’d never been interested in sleeping with his girlfriends, not even Misa, who he lived with. He’d only gotten with her that night because he was drunk. He was always drunk when they had sex, it was something she needled him about constantly.

“Oh,” Light said. “Oh my god.”

L stared back at him with the same searching gaze, then sprung back up. He offered Light a hand, and helped him to stand. He rested his thin fingers on the side of Light’s face.

“That watch is very clever. Where did you get it?”

Light looked down at the shards of it on the ground, and went to rub his wrist. There was a faint cut where it had been, not deep enough to drop blood. “My dad gave it to me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Light kicked one of the pieces absentmindedly. A quiet minute passed.

“Let’s just go home,” Light said. “I have work.”

“Yes,” L agreed. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, it'll probably be a Minute before I update as I've got my work cut out for me this semester (jee, how come your mom let's you have TWO senior projects joke) but don't worry, I'll still be thinking of gay vampires. Actually, I made an Instagram for my Curse of Strahd/D&D character, speaking of gay vampires, @vinniegrr. Feel free to check it out!
> 
> stay spicy lads

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't read the coldest girl in coldtown it's the sexiest vampire book ever, and it's where i stole the idea of a sick period from. the rising from the dead thing is just an excuse to bring L back ;) thank u so much to my own L for editing!
> 
> comments always appreciated & my tumblr is butchrem!


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